Sheba's Headaches
by Marahute Sol
Summary: Sheba has headaches, quite often. These are the reasons why.
1. Chapter 1

**Short Story**

**Sheba's Headaches, Her New Job as an Agony Aunt**

_By Marahute Sol_

_- Disclaimer: I do not own Golden Sun. And I do not have any of the very expensive rights to it._

_- Author's note: Warning, may contain nuts at the end**.**_

**

* * *

**

**After the Golden Sun, Sheba tried to get a job as an Agony Aunt. She quit, after recieving this letter, on her first day.**

**- - - - -**

**The Question:**

Dear Sheba,

I am a little girl of fourteen and I live in a small town near a large Amish village.

I also own a yellow highlighter and have a great fondness for running around and around and around a glass filled two-thirds with vinegar.

I am writing to you because I think I might have a problem, one you can help me with.

Your advice usually includes that people should talk about their problems with someone they trust. But I am afraid that is no option for me, I cannot talk about this problem with anyone. Not with my parent, my friends or my three cats. Who accidentally can be very annoying, like they are right now. They keep steeling my pen thinking it is some kind of food. Or perhaps they think it is a toy? I am not really sure since I cannot read their minds, a trait you do have. Perhaps you can clear up the doubt about this matter; do cat's actually like to be worshipped or revered? No it can be both. Neither is an option too of course. It could be that they just wish to annoy me, like every body else on this world.

I cannot remember having that mole though, I think it is a new one…

My problem is of a somewhat delicate matter. And I am afraid, that if it becomes know to anyone, people will not like me anymore.

As they never seem to like my clothing I mean.

I mean, there is nothing wrong with wearing a blue dress, a grey undershirt and a blue boots is there? It should not matter if I have flaming red hair and dark brown eyes right? It should not

funny looking pencil this is, are that teeth marks?

Like that school party the other week. It was pretty nice and all, I talked to my friends, we drank some wine, gossiped about boys, had fun and all. Normal girl stuff right?

Then suddenly, I overheard someone say: "You ate the nicer donut that I wanted…" and I though "But there are still dozens of donuts left and there all the same to begin with."

When I told my friends that people can get wonderfully confusing at times, most often when they want things they cannot have, but really want to have though they know they cannot have it, and perhaps want to have it because they cannot have it, for some ominously weird reason, and find out that they have waited too long, or that someone beat them to having it, they get ticked off… My friends answered: "Well, that is the opinion of four glasses of wine. However, if I may express a preference, something that is not complete gibberish would be more welcome next time, please." And "Yeah, we are entirely capable of confusin' ourselves, thank you."

At such a time I think I need new contact lenses; I am having trouble reading from a distance again…

After the party, the greater part of the school went to nearby pubs and sorts. But me and my friends went to my home to close this party with a few last drinks. I think the rest, the ones who went home as well, had the idea of "Blindly follow the majority. What am I? Cattle?" I mean, we are old and wise enough to decide for ourselves what to do and when to do it not? So the opinion of other people should not matter. I know.

My left sock really itches, I hope it are not those cats making that noise. They can act pretty confusing at times.

It is just that I think that I think I like to think I am thinking that sometimes, people are very confusing, that they do not make a lick of sense, or are speaking rubbish that doesn't make a lick of sense and keep repeating themselves because they do not make a lick of sense. It is like they keep on talking and talking and talking without saying anything. And their ability to keep on talking without actually saying anything, I mean, you must admit, it is a kind of gift is it not? It is not something everyone is born with. It could be possible that they practise to do things like that. They can try and find other people to have pointless conversations with and talk for hours and at the end, neither can summarise what they have said because they have not said anything. And nothing is hard to summarise. The main reason why I have sing a lot really, because those conversations people have on the streets of the market, I mean, common, at least try to stick to one topic, it is really annoying when people go switching from one thing to-day really is boring. I have not eaten lunch yet; I think I should do that soon. But anyway, other people actually can hold a decent conversation. That is what I try to do, find people who can hold a normal conversation. I think I really should try to hang out with those kinds of people and not let utter hopeless failure to find someone who wishes to talk to me get me down.

Thanks a lot, you have been a great help!

Love,

Me

**The Answer:**

Dear me,

…

That was random…

Sheba


	2. Chapter 2

**Short Story**

**Sheba's**** Headaches, The Caet**

_By Marahute Sol_

_- Disclaimer: I do not own Golden Sun. Nor do, __I have the [expletive deleted] rights to any of it... Oh bugger off._

_- Author's note: Warning, may contain nuts as well._

* * *

"**Oh look, and enclosed space ****to sit in!"**

**- - - - -**

**Dear Diary.**

I am so happy! The offer we made for the house was accepted. I know it was retardedly low but I guess being one of the most powerful Wind Adept and being married to one of the most powerful Fire Adepts helps when bargaining.

I think it has something to do with my bunny too, he still can't stand the docile behaviour of it, but he has decided to get us a Caet for our house. He gave her a name but I forgot what it was, so I'll just call her 'Caet', with a capital. I hope you don't mind.

An interesting fact about his new plaything: she has the most excellent ability to sneak up on you and lie down in places you don't expect to find it.

So when I decided to buy him a new crossbow and tried to gift wrap it… No. I shall have to tell you this in chronological order.

- - - - -

I began by clearing a large space on our table - I love being able to say 'our' – to wrap his present in.

I then opened my bag – a nice new leather one – and tried to admire the crossbow I got him.

I took out Caet out of my bag, – no idea how he got in it – and placed her on the ground.

I went to the kitchen, got the roll of dyed papyrus paper and placed it on the table.

I noticed the silence, went back to the kitchen and removed the caet from the cupboard.

I walked to the drawer and got the ribbons.

I laid out the items I collected on the table to begin the wrapping and found I was missing a paper knife.

I grabbed the tail of Caet and pulled her out of the drawer, – which had been there since my last visit – pulled the knife from her claws and placed her on the ground.

I turned around, twice, because I forgot to close the doors, pulled the Caet out of the cupboard and made sure I properly closed it without her inside it.

I walked back to the table, grabbed my bag from the floor and placed it on the table.

I saw my bag wobble of the table, got hold of it, pulled Caet out of it and properly closed it.

I noticed the error in my thinking and opened my leather bag again.

I removed Caet from the bag, pulled out the crossbow and placed it on the table as well. Logic dictates it is hard to wrap something that isn't there.

I removed Caet from my bag – again – and sealed it.

I laid out the paper in order to measure the required dimensions.

I tried to get it to flatten; realised Caet was underneath it and placed her on the ground.

I cut the paper to size while trying to keep the cutting line straight.

I threw away the sheet I had managed to cut because Caet had chased the knife, and tore the paper.

I opened my bag and cut the second sheet of papyrus without incidents.

I got Caet from my bag again and closed it.

I placed the crossbow on it and wrapped the paper around it.

I noticed that the edges didn't reach each other – I was certain I had the dimensions right – and realised that Caet was lying on the crossbow.

I removed the Caet and placed her on the ground.

I got the crossbow from Caet's claws and placed her in the kitchen.

I put the crossbow on paper and tried to hold off the caet while I cut some strings of rope from the ball of yarn to wrap the present with.

I spent half an hour carefully trying to remove the rope from Caet which she had chased around the housed.

I opened my bag.

I wrapped the present in the paper and sealed it with some strings of rope.

I grabbed the roll of ribbon, hurt my hand, yelled at Caet and chased her around our house in order to retrieve my roll of ribbon.

I tried to wrap the ribbon around the present and removed it again.

I cut loose the strings and removed the paper, which was torn due to Caet chasing the ribbon.

I decided to put all packing materials in my bag grab his present and headed for the only lockable room we had.

I got inside, locked the door and laid out the materials as best as I could.

I got as far as placing the ribbon on the actual gift and unlocked the door.

I remove the caet from my bag – where she hid after I started cursing at her – placed the caet outside the door, turned around, closed the door and locked it again.

I repeat the previous action – so often I can no longer recall the actual number – a lot, until I heard her scratching the door from the outside.

I laid out the last large bit of papyrus and saw she tore it all

I went to look for an other sheet, realised I didn't have any, and returned to the bathroom. I tried to cut the remainders of paper in such a way that it could still be considered fairly descent, wrapped the crossbow and used the ribbon to hide the worst areas of damage.

I labelled it and sat back to admire it.

I unlocked the door, and went to the kitchen to feed the caet.

I spend one hundred breaths looking for her until I came to the obvious conclusion.

I unwrapped the ribbon, rope and paper. I removed Caet from within the inner workings of the crossbow and placed the crossbow on Casey's head pillow.


End file.
